Brains vs. Beliefs Episode 3: Opposites Attract
Written by: Emily Stark
In this episode of Brains vs. Beliefs, we dive into the long-standing cultural idea that successful relationships thrive on difference. From Hallmark movies to Paula Abdul’s famous song, “Opposites Attract”, the relationship advice that opposites attract is everywhere—but what does the science actually say? Drawing on decades of research, including large-scale studies and data from dating platforms, we explore whether similarity or difference matters more for long-term relationship success. We also discuss why this myth persists in media, influencer culture, and self-help advice, offering listeners key takeaways about what really drives attraction.
You can view show notes and a transcript here: https://share.transistor.fm/s/59754016
Click to listen below, or find this episode wherever you find podcasts!
References and Resources
12 Weeks Relationships podcast clip. https://youtu.be/2WFMYSF4Db8?si=-6LP2CGq36H5IgQU
Cacioppo, J. T., Cacioppo, S., Gonzaga, G. C., Ogburn, E. L., & VanderWeele, T. J. (2013). Marital satisfaction and break-ups differ across on-line and off-line meeting venues. PNAS Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 110(25), 10135-10140. https://doi-org.ezproxy.mnsu.edu/10.1073/pnas.1222447110
Gottman, J. M., Levenson, R. W., Gross, J., Frederickson, B. L., McCoy, K., Rosenthal, L., Ruef, A., & Yoshimoto, D. (2003). Correlates of Gay and Lesbian Couples' Relationship Satisfaction and Relationship Dissolution. Journal of Homosexuality, 45(1), 23-43. https://doi-org.ezproxy.mnsu.edu/10.1300/J082v45n01_02
Horwitz, T.B., Balbona, J.V., Paulich, K.N. & Keller, M.C. (2023). Evidence of correlations between human partners based on systematic reviews and meta-analyses of 22 traits and UK Biobank analysis of 133 traits. Nature Human Behavior, 7, 1568–1583. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-023-01672-z
Lilienfeld, S. O., Lynn, S. J., Ruscio, J., & Beyerstein, B. L. (2010). 50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology: Shattering Widespread Misconceptions about Human Behavior. Wiley-Blackwell, West Sussex, United Kingdom.
Neuroscience News. https://neurosciencenews.com/opposites-attraction-psychology-23877/
Salas-Schweikart, R., Hendricks, M. J., Boychuck, M., & Moghaddam, F. M. (2024). Similarity-attraction across ethnic, religious, and political groups: does celebrating differences or similarities make a difference? The Journal of Social Psychology, 1–20. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224545.2024.2427834